Category Archives: Dr. Care Blog

MEN NO PAUSE

I suppose the label Men No Pause will be the choicest of labels most men after 50 would want to put on their doors when they meet friends of similar ages to brag about their colorful lives, their women conquest, the fast cars they have and the overseas trips they made. Of course there will be no mention of failing health or failing memory or failing strength, everything is fine if not better as though age freeze for them. Their better halves of course will have their own sessions. They are very much down to earth as they know age has caught up with them and they will not hesitate to be very open about their failing health, their ailing body and the number of trips they have to make to see their personal doctors and the number of trips they have to make to see their personal beautician for make over’s.

 

Women of all ages are aware of the term menopause unlike men who only know that men no pause. In fact there is this saying that life begins at 40 for men! That implies that before 40 they are children or teenager. That’s not surprising when you can see middle age men before 40 still hold on their membership in Youth Clubs and Youth Section of political parties!

 

Men as women do go through aging process or rather they pass through the golden year that is a real challenge to their health. In women their reproductive function ceased as they menopause. The female hormones wane dramatically following symptoms suggestive of emergence of menopause like flushes, mood swings, panic attacks, insomnia, palpitation, anxiety, loss of libido and depression. Other than that there is this tendency of contracting some chronic illness like hypertension, diabetes, coronary diseases etc. which is part of aging.

 

With regard to fertility, similar changes are taking place in the males as well. After 50, their fertility wanes but not ceased. That’s probably the reason why they keep trying to knock down young women even their artilleries are in bad shape. They produce less sperms with poor quality and started to have problems with their sexual prowess and especially if they contract diabetes, hypertension, hypercholesterolemia and coronary diseases. More than a third of them will have prostate problems, like enlarged prostate that might have a negative influence in their sexual function because of frequency in passing urine.

 

Having low testosterone does not just affect their libido. Testosterone is important for men. It is this elixir that gives them the male characteristics, the so called macho and virility. The very same hormone gives them the strength, the lean body mass, the muscle bulk, the bone strength, the heat and of course the libido. It is this hormone that maintains sperm production and sensitizes the sex center to respond to sexual desire. Just imagine what will happen if that very same hormone level dwindles down. This situation is called Andropause and sometime is also known as male menopause. You see a pathetic looking male with no sting. He sometimes look frail, no muscle, only bones and skin. He may appear grumpy and quarrelsome. He will have similar symptoms as seen in menopausal women like flushes, night sweats, insomnia, loss of memory, palpitations and specifically in men loss of nocturnal erections and looking fatigue. If this is something that is welcoming to him then it’s alright.

 

No men would want to be in that state, looking hopeless and helpless.
Like menopause, Andropause is now a recognized health issue in men. Men with ‘late onset hypogonadism’ or LOH as it is also being known as can be treated by Testosterone Replacement Therapy. Before testosteone is instituted, the aging male need to go for a medical assessment to evaluate his health status. His medical condition if any need to be treated. His prostate will be evaluated prior to providing him testosterone therapy. Since this therapy can be for life time, he needs to come for regular follow-up to monitor his prostate and general health. There is also alternative therapy in the form of herbal supplementation. Certain herbs like Tribulus terrestis and Eurycoma longifolia or Tongkat Ali have been found to stimulate the adrenals and testicles in producing natural testosterone. The water soluble extract have been found to be useful with less side effects. If he has problems with his prowess, medication that can improve blood flow to his genital organs can help, if the medication is suitable for him.

 

Men need not stay behind and suffer in silent. They need to emulate their better halves in opening up and take charge of their health. Putting the Men No Pause sign will not help. The signage should be Men Do Pause.

ESP Wash and Genicare Cream

Question:
I’d just started using the ESP Wash and Genicare Cream fro men today. What will be the effect I will notice after using the product daily for a week?

 

Answer:
For ESP His Genicare cream:
From the first time it is used, you will be able to feel the heated sensation. This shows that ESP His Genicare cream is reacting towards your “Corpora Carvosa” which is the genital tissue responsible for erection and orgasms. You will sense a better erection,prolonged satisfaction and an increase in your orgasm. A more noticeable effect can be seen after using the cream for at least 14 days. We have received feedback consumers expressing great satisfaction with the product saying that a more stronger erection and heightened virile appeal were achieved after continuous usage of this product between 4 to 6 weeks. Nevertheless, statistics have shown that the effect of this product varies with each individual. Therefore,we urge consumers to be patient to experience the ultimate effect when using this product.

 

ESP Wash:
ESP Pleasure Wash – His P Exclusive is formulated with natural source surfactants, it gently cleans the intimate area leaving him feeling fresher and invigorated.It is recommended for regular use and is completely SLES (Soap) free and cleanses the intimate area without irritation. The inclusion of 8 natural herbal extracts namely Thyme, Sage, Rosemary, Neem, Vetiver, Lime, Aloe Vera and Betel Leaf from plants add a variety of secondary metabolites such as tannins, terpenoids, alkaloids and flavonoids which have been found in vitro to have anti microbial and skin rejuvenating properties keeping his intimate area clean and invigorated. At pH 4.5~5.0, it protects the male skin’s natural acidic environment while it gently cleanses and refreshes.

Why my level of climax is too fast?

Question:Warm regards to you. I like to know why and how and ways to overcome it. My question is my level of climax is too fast.Not even 2 minutes. Why is that so? Thank you.

 

Answer:
You are actually suffering from a condition known as rapid ejaculation and this happens because you do it in a hurry! When you are doing it in a hurry you will lose your focus and concentration and will ejaculate fast besides not getting what you and your partner aim for. Imagine you are doing a run and you make a dash from the very beginning, you will find yourself pretty exhausted halfway and will not be able to compleete the run. The same thing will happen to you when you make love to your partner in the same manner. You start your love making with heated passion. This will make you lose your concentration and focus. This willl result with you losing control and ejaculate. Try to take it easy by first warming up and take time to do the penetration. Firm up the pelvic floor muscles when you do the penetration and contol your pelvic thrust when you penetrate. Keep the penis in the vagina when you maintain the pelvic thrust so that the tip of the penis gets less pressure. You can put more pressure to the vaginal opening with the base of your penis and when you are ready you can do rapid pelvic thrust to increase pressure to the vaginal entrance, focussing on the clitoris and roof of vagina. As you are doing the pelvic thrusting you continue firming up your pelvic floor muscles so that in the event you ejaculate your erection is still firm enough to give more stimulation to the vagina to make your partner climax. This technique of lovemaking is known as Coital Alignment Technique. You need to practice this technique regularly to get use to it. If you still have problems you need to consult a doctor.

Reverse results

Question:
My husband and I have a wonderful sex life, but right after we have intercourse he almost immediately falls asleep. I, on the other hand, could go another round, go for a jog, clean the house. I’m so full of energy. It doesn’t matter what time of day or night it is. Why does sex always knock him out while it gives me this super energy boost?

 

Answer:
Many women out there would give their right arm for an answer to this one. Therefore, here goes. One or more of the following reasons usually account for why a man falls into a post-coital stupor:

  1. They are tired to begin with, and sex helps them relax and let go — figuratively and literally.
  2. The hormones men and women produce at orgasm namely Oxytocin and the natural opiate Beta-Endorphins can lead to the desire to lie back in the afterglow, and that sense of physical peace often leads to sleep.
  3. The ejaculatory release for men, and the inherent letting down of bodily tension, makes men physically tired.
  4. Most people (again, men and women) hold their breath during sex, breathe shallowly or do not focus on breathing. There is a possibility that he is not breathing deeply. That gives him oxygen deprivation, which causes sleepiness. In addition, it could (rare, though) persist into the next day.

 

Here is my explanation about his post coital stupor. He is probably fatigued before sex and all of those sensations — including orgasm — just propel him into the state for which his body is yearning: rest.

 

In rare cases, men who are exhausted by sex may have a medical condition. If you suspect something more serious, make sure your husband sees his doctor for a complete physical.

Oversensitive Partner

Question:
My husband gets offended if I wash off with water after sex. I do it because it’s much more comfortable for me to go to sleep if I’m all cleaned up and because it helps prevent yeast infections, which I’m prone to getting. He thinks it’s prudish and says that it ruins it for him. How can I get him to understand that I need to do this and that it’s normal?

Answer:
To wash after making love might make it more difficult for the woman to get pregnant because the semen is not settled and movement will only expel it and exposure to soap and water can destroy the active sperms. If your husband is aware of this, he is actually upset because you are actually practising family planning without his consent. If you have children and are not planning for one immediately then washing after sex is no longer an issue, at least no longer his issue but yours because of the various reasons you have mentioned like cleanliness and avoiding fungus infection. If he is not clear about this then you need to inform him. If he is still not clear, you need to take him to your family doctor for a briefing.

PMS Problems

Question:I have bad PMS, and so for about two weeks every month I’m on an emotional roller coaster. This has done real damage to our sex life. My husband has basically given up initiating sex since I so frequently turn him down, and he has a really hard time understanding what I go through. I do not know what to do.

 

Answer:
PMS is real! It affects the quality of life for millions of women, yet too many couples do not realize there are ways to battle this problem. Begin by identifying the specific symptoms you experience. Typical symptoms include fatigue, depression, irritability, angry outbursts, cravings for sweet and/or salty foods, headache, abdominal bloating, anxiety, confusion, difficulty with concentration and/or memory, swollen hands or feet, tender breasts and tearfulness. Next, keep a log of the dates you experience certain symptoms. On your monthly chart, mark your symptoms with a number from 0 to 10, indicating the severity of the symptom on a given day.

 

These charts will enable you to predict the onset of your internal warfare and plan ahead for its effects. Plan positive sexual times for you and your husband for the two weeks leading up to your symptoms. Then, depending on the severity of your PMS, plan for the type of sexual encounter that would meet your needs and help relieve your stress during that difficult time. For example, you might enjoy being caressed everywhere except your breasts and genitals. Alternatively, you may not want to be touched anywhere, but would enjoy caressing your husband. During those difficult two weeks, make time in your schedule for extra rest. Schedule a “walk-and-talk” time together to occur before your sexual time. Begin your actual physical time with a relaxing spa or a warm shower. Planning for your PMS will reduce the damage to your sex life and increase your husband’s understanding. It might also be possible to treat your PMS. Which may include healthy life style, vitamin supplementation and symptomatic treatment from your doctor.

 

Cheating Wife

Question:
I have been married to my wife for 10 years, and she has been cheating the whole time. She decided to stop cheating and wants to build our relationship, but to be quite honest, I am horrible with sex, romance and foreplay. I always have to ask her for sex and most of the time, she just does it with me because I nag her to death. I need advice on how to get what I want with sex, foreplay and love. My confidence level is so low and I am also about 20 kilos overweight. Plus, I get off in like one minute and although I’ve been reading about how to be a better lover, frankly, it is just not helping. Please help!

 

Answer:
It can be disturbing when one finds out that ones partner cheats. However, it is more disturbing when the real reason for the cheating falls on ones shoulder, in this case, failure to satisfy the partners sexual needs. Reading sex guide will be rather a futile attempt if one has no interest in sex. On the other hand, it is just not right to have sex with no feelings. Sex is not just a physical thing; it involves emotion and bonding between the partners. May be sex is not what the woman want, it is the caring and the loving. That is probably the reason why the partner decides to stop cheating and wants to build the relationship. Tender loving care is not just humping. It is more than that. The touching is more enjoyable than the penetration and after all, once ejaculation has taken place, the curtain falls. It is different when the skin touches the lips are locked and passion flows. Oral sex can be wonderful and pleasurable as well. Do something about the weight and stop nagging. Seek professional help when one has rapid ejaculation. There are numerous treatment options available. It is advisable for both couples to see the doctor so that both parties are aware and would be able to help each other. After all that is what marriage is all about caring for each other.

 

ESP – Enjoyable Safe Pleasure – Your Intimate Care Partner

Does it hurt for him to ask if I’ve finished my menses or try asking for sex?

p>Question:
Hello dr! I’ve been married for almost 7 months now, and I’ve noticed that my husband’s libido/interests in sex is kinda decreasing. I understood that he had been busy with his work lately. On the other note, I thought generally all men love to watch porn. My hubby do watch it before, but now he had stopped watching it. Reason-he said its too fake and boring. There are times I’ve invited him to watch together (I do watch porn for thoughts and tips, not addicted) he refused. If I had my period and didn’t have intercourse with him, he seems fine wit it… even up to 2 weeks or more! He’s never even bothered to ask if my period had ended or so.. I’ve confronted him saying how come he’s not being intimate or touchy with me, he just said that he thought I was still bleeding. He said he wouldn’t know until I told him that I’ve completely mense-free. Does it hurt for him to ask if I’ve finished my menses or try asking for sex..? Is it normal for some guys who don’t watch porn? I’ve noticed that it is me whose going all the way up to him from rubbing, caressing etc. Then it’ll start. I’m quite sexually emotional in this matter…How to make him addicted to have sex with me more often? How to make him have the urge of wanting to have sex with me? I’m quite an attractive woman with nice proportions of my body 5 according to him and most people), I’m not being a modest here but it sounds stupid if he finds me unattractive and no sex appeal. Please help me. Thanks dr..

 

Answer:
Looks like you have done your very best to seduce him and he seems to be cool about it. What was he like when he was chasing you before you tied the knot. For some guys the chasing and hunting part is interesting for them and the moment they get what they wanted, the chasing cools off and life becomes usual, that is back to routine and that is going to work and earning money. For some guys, once they are hitched they take life seriously and they take their partner for granted. They need to be reminded most of the time in a subtle way and they never like to be criticized. You may as well start everything for him, practically take care of him and pamper him the way mummy takes care of her boy and you provide what mummy cannot give him and that is sex. He will love you for that. You don’t have to wait for him to make the move, you make the move and he will take it from there. Continue with your seduction and take him as he is, after all he is the man you married.

 

Would I able to satisfy a woman with a short penis?

Question:
I have a miserable problem. It’s regarding the length of my penis. At a flaccid position, it is only 2 inches in length. Upon erection, it only extends to 4 inches. For your information, I’m also overweight. I stand at 171 cm and weigh 95 kg. I’m afraid to get married as I’m worried that my future wife will be disappointed when she looks at my penis. Would I able to satisfy a woman with a short penis? Would she complain about the length?

Answer:
The penis has always been the precious possession of the male and an organ to be proud of if one is well endowed. On the other hand, an enormous genital will strike terror to the female partner. Obsessing about penis size is nothing new. Erotic art throughout history is full of examples of exaggerated phalluses. When it came to depicting a heroic personage in erotic art, the size of the penis often symbolized the man’s vigour or sexual power. In the woman perspective, size is least thought about. The size of the man’s hearts is what that matters and the romance. What is the average penis size? The reported statistics vary, but some of the more credible measurements taken from a sample of men in the National University of Singapore and a Well Man Clinic in Kuala Lumpur revealed that the average erect penis is between 10-14 cms when measured from the base of the penis to the tip along the top side. The vast majority of erect penises (>85% of men) fell between 10-15 inches. A penis of less than 6cm in erected state will have difficulty with penetration. Obese man will appear to have a smallish phallus and this is because a good portion of the length is embedded in the fat! However, he will find he is not small after all. There are many so-called remedies to improve penile length and girth. It is always better to consult a doctor before one indulges into costly treatment. The so-called creams and capsules are useless and so also massaging the organ with various ‘magic’ oils. There is a penile extender device (Andropenis) that is already available in the market that can be used to add a few centimetres (between 2-5 cm) if applied correctly over a period of 9 hours for 4-6 months. Information on this device is available in www.drismailtambi.com

Is this actually permitted in Islam?

Question:
I’m a Muslim woman who is newly married. I have a question which I find embarrassing but I feel that I should clarify. From your background, I’m sure you are at liberty to provide some answers to my question. My husband and I are in the stage of exploring the wonders of lovemaking. Recently, he asked me to perform oral sex on him. I don’t really mind submitting to his request but is this actually permitted in Islam?

Answer:
Sexuality encompasses life and life events from womb to tomb which includes knowing one self, ones gender and roles and a small part of it involves sexual feelings, human relationship, sexual relationship, birth ,living and death. For Muslims sexuality is a sacred Path a Muslim partakes following the ‘sunnah’ of the Prophet Muhammad. Sex in Islam is taken seriously. It is not a subject for fun or mere absolute pleasure. Decency and due respect always characterize the subject. In Islam, sex is related to marital life and family life. It is viewed as a superior human relationship subject to strict regulations. Thus, sex within a marital relationship is a worship that is rewarded. Outside a marital relationship, sex is a punishable sin. It is forbidden for a Muslim man to have sexual intercourse with his wife when she is menstruating.

Allah is clear on this subject: “They ask you concerning menstruation. Say: that is an “Atha” (a harmful thing for a husband to have a sexual intercourse with his wife while she is having her menses), therefore keep away from women during menses and go not unto them till they have purified (from menses and have taken a bath). And when they have purified themselves, then go in unto them as Allah has ordained for you (go in unto them in any manner as long as it is in their vagina)…” (2:222)The Holy Koran. Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, is reported to have said, “Guard your private parts except from your wife or your slaves.” Muslim jurists are of the opinion that it is lawful for the husband to perform cunnilingus on his wife, or a wife to suck her husband’s penis (fellatio) and there is no wrong in doing so. But some say that if sucking leads to releasing semen, then it is Makrooh (blameworthy), but there is no decisive evidence (to forbid it).Therefore oral sex is permissible but not an obligation. Sex is wonderful if both parties enjoy and not endure.