Category Archives: Dr. Care Blog

Should I give it a try to satisfy my partner’s strange fetish?

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Question:
My partner regularly asks whether he can lick my bottom. He says that if I give it a try, I would love it. Until now, I have vehemently rejected his requests, saying it is disgusting. Is it disgusting? Is it unhealthy? Is my partner gay? Should I give it a try to satisfy my partner’s strange fetish?

 

Answer:
Lovemaking is a mutual experience if both partners are enjoying it. It can be more exciting if both parties explore the wonders of lovemaking like changing positions and indulging in oral sex. Probably the cleanest organ of the body is the genital area as it is well covered and cleaned. The skin of the genitals is sensitive and touching with hands will not be as pleasant as compared to the lips and the tongue. There is no harm trying oral sex if one would like to experience something different in lovemaking. This would give a chance for the partner to get closer to you and to taste you literally.

Vulvodynia

Vulvodynia is the term used to describe women who experience the sensation of vulval burning and soreness in the absence of any obvious skin condition or infection. The sensation of burning and soreness of the vulva can be continuous (unprovoked vulvodynia) or on light touch eg. sexual intercourse or tampon use (provoked vulvodynia). Women who have unprovoked vulvodynia were formally know as having dysaesthetic vulvodynia where pain was felt without touch. Vestibulodynia is the term replacing vestibulitis where pain is felt on light touch. A recent change in the terminology of these conditions means that the description of women with vulvodynia can be more uniform amongst health professionals and patients. Many women have symptoms which overlap between both conditionsDysaesthetic vulvodynia and vestibulitis are now obsolete terms that you’ll hear less and less frequently as they are phased out.

 

What is it?
This condition is a cause of vulval burning and soreness usually as a consequence of irritation or hypersensitivity of the nerve fibres in the vulval skin. The abnormal nerve fibre signals from the skin are felt as a sensation of pain by the woman. This type of pain can occur even when the area is not touched. Another example of nerve-type (neuropathic pain) like vulvodynia is the pain some people experience with an attack of shingles. Once the rash of shingles has disappeared the area of skin where the rash was can be intensely painful and sore despite the skin appearing normal. The condition is called post-hepatic neuralgia.

 

What are the symptoms?
The pain described by women with unprovoked vulvodynia is often of a burning, aching nature. The intensity of pain can vary from mild discomfort to a severe constant pain which can even prevent you from sitting down comfortably. The pain is usually continuous and can interfere with sleep. As with long-term pain of any cause you can have good days and bad days. Itching is not usually a feature of the condition. The pain in unprovoked vulvodynia is not always restricted to the vulval area (area of skin on the outside of the vagina) and some women get pain elsewhere. This can be around the inside of the thighs, upper legs and even around the anus (back passage) and urethra (where you pass urine). Some women also have pain when they empty their bowels. Unprovoked vulvodynia can have an affect on sexual activity and is associated with pain during foreplay and penetration. In some women with unprovoked vulvodynia the burning sensation can be generalised over the whole genital area. Alternatively it can be localised to just the clitoris (clitorodynia) or just one side of the vulva (hemi-vulvodynia).

 

What is there to see on examination?
Usually there is nothing to see on examination as the problem lies with the nerve fibres themselves which are not visible to the skin. Just because your doctor cannot see anything does not mean that there is nothing present.

 

How is it treated?
Pain that originates from nerve fibres, is best treated with drugs that alter the way that the nerve fibres send their impulses to the spinal cord and give the sensation of pain. The most experience to date in treating vulvodynia has been with the tri-cyclic antidepressants. These can be prescribed by your doctor in doses lower than is used to treat depression. The drugs are used because is alters the way the nerve fibres transmit the sensation of pain, not because the doctor thinks it’s all in your mind! Some women do gain some benefit from different types of creams and lotions applied to the vulval area which do act as soothing agents, but it generally best to avoid all creams unless they have been prescribed by your doctor.

 

What is it NOT?
There are many conditions that it is not! It is not infective, it is not related to cancer, and you will not pass it on to your partner. As stated before, some women do experience pain on the insides of the thighs and around the anus, however, this will not spread further.

 

How does it differ from vestibulodynia (formerly vestibulitis)?

Vulvodynia (unprovoked pain) Vestibulodynia (provoked pain)
  • – Spontaneous pain
  • – Pain is burning and sore in nature
  • – Itching not usually a problem
  • – Can be generalised around the vulva or localised
  • – Pain with light touch eg tampon use or sexual intercourse
  • – Usually no symptoms at other times
  • – Can be generalised around the vulva or localised

What causes it?
For a minority of women with vulvodynia, back problems eg slipped discs, can cause spinal nerve compression and cause referred pain to the vulval area. In the majority of cases, however, the precise cause of the nerve damage or irritation remains unknown. It’s known as an idiopathic condition, ie with no known cause.

 

Treatments available from your doctor
Tricyclic antidepressant tablets mentioned above is a standard treatment. The treatment is in tablet form, starting at a low dose and then increasing every few days until the pain subsides. The response to treatment is not overnight and may take several weeks. It is often necessary to continue with treatment for three to six months. Examples of tablets include amitryptyline, nortryptyline and dothiepin.The major drawback for some women on treatment are the side-effects; however these usually settle within the first few weeks of treatment and are not usually exacerbated by increasing the dose. The most common effect is that of tiredness which affects many women. If this occurs try taking the tablets before you go to bed. If this makes you sleepy in the morning and you have difficulty in getting out of bed, try taking the dosage slightly earlier like at teatime. Constipation, having a dry mouth and occasional blurred vision are other complaints whilst on treatment. If you are constipated try taking Senna or Fybogel which are weak bowel stimulants. You should tell your doctor if you are pregnant or have suffered liver and heart problems prior to treatment. Remember that treatment is only for a limited time and not forever!

 

Treatments you can buy without prescription
Vaginal lubricants such as Sensilube, Astroglide or Pleasure Gel (ESP)  can help during intercourse. The are mucous-like and last longer than conventional lubricants. (See also aqueous cream, below.)

 

Complementary treatments are widely used by women with vulval pain and can be more successful than prescription based treatments. Most of the following treatments are available from health shops and can be used safely. If unsure ask your doctor. Aloe Vera gel, Calendula, Dr Bach Rescue cream, hypercal creams and Her Genicare Cream (ESP) are alternative, homeopathic treatments useful for treating sore and painful skin. Try each one separately, but be careful of irritation when applying the cream.

 

Aqueous cream is a very bland plain emollient (soothing cream) that is usually used for treating dried cracked skin. It is perfume-free and is therefore less likely to irritate than the steroid creams. Many women gain benefit from the use of this cream as it soothes and rehydrates the skin. Some women keep the cream in the fridge and this can help even further with inflamed skin. It can be used indefinitely and as frequently as you like. It is available without prescription and can be used as a soap substitute and even a sexual lubricant.

 

You can also use emulsifying ointment (available from pharmacies in 500mg tubs) for washing. If you find it too thick, thin it down with some boiling water. Emulsifying ointment or alternatively Epaderm cream both make good barrier creams for swimming and also good sexual lubricants.

 

For severe attacks of pain Aveeno (oatmeal) sitz baths are an alternative treatment available from most health shops without prescription. Place one sachet in the bath and bathe for 20 minutes. This can be repeated up to four times a day. Alternatively, Emulsiderm bath lotion may help, or Oilatum in the bath.

 

Acupuncture has been shown to benefit women with vulvodynia when the pain is continuous, however, it is important to have treatments which address the genital area.

Vaginal Dryness and Lubrication

Question: I’ve never been able to produce natural lubrication, even when I’m horny and turned on, which makes it awkward and embarrassing during sex. I buy lube, but I’m still so confused as to why I can’t get wet. Is this normal and is there anything I can do about it? Answer: Many women of all ages run into vaginal dryness now and then. Never the less, a dry vagina feels uncomfortable and can make sex painful. The amount of vaginal lubrication varies from woman to woman, within a wide range of normal lubrication. The fluid itself is clear and relatively odourless. You may not take much notice of your vaginal fluid most of the time until you find yourself feeling dry when you should be the opposite when you are sexually aroused. Vaginal dryness can have a variety of causes. Your sensitive vaginal chemistry may be reacting to another kind of chemistry—harsh alkaline soaps, for example. On the other hand, you may be drying up as part of an allergic response to perfumes or dyes. As you get closer to the years of menopause, lowered estrogen levels may also cause dryness of the vagina. In addition, certain skin conditions may interfere with vaginal lubrication. It is normal for some women not to lubricate copiously when they are sexually aroused. It is also possible to lubricate without realizing it. If you are lying on your back, the moisture may pool in the back of your vagina, too far away to make sexual intercourse comfortable. The solution? Before intercourse, try dipping a finger into the vagina and drawing some of the lubrication out to coat the dry surface. Then again, you can use water-soluble lubricants.

When is the most “safe” period to having sex without wearing condom?

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Question:
Hi there, may I know when is the most “safe” period to having sex without wearing condom? My friend say the “safe” period is 3 days after girl get period, is it reliable? Will it stand a chance to get pregnant if I eject inside vagina? Another question is if I wish to enjoy the sex pleasure and eject inside, what is the best solution to prevent get pregnant? Thanks.

 

Answer:
It is never ‘safe’ to have sex without a condom when one thinks about sexually transmitted infections (STI) and more so if one plans not to get pregnant or make the partner pregnant. I think in both situations it would be risky to take the chance. You will be surprised to know that the girl can get pregnant even if sex were to be done while she is getting her period!

 

Do feces get on the penis on insertion?

Question:
I’m not an anal sex fan, however, I was just wondering if it’s okay to actually have anal sex safely without the use of a condom. I mean, do feces get on the penis on insertion? If not, what about the other bacteria that are present in the anus — won’t they cause an infection?

Answer:
You are on the right tract when you mentioned about the bacteria and the feces that might land on your penis. The bacteria might not do any harm to you but may cause harm to your partner if after pulling out your loaded penis from the anus you insert it straight into your partner’s vagina. If your partner has an infection already, not using the condom will endanger you if you have an abrasion on your penis. Feces and anal mucus also contains HIV/AID virus if one is inflicted with the infection. Wearing a condom is the least you can do to avoid infection from your partner or to avoid giving infection to your partner. Be wise. Use condoms whether you have straight sex or otherwise.

Do feces get on the penis on insertion?

Question:
I’m not an anal sex fan, however, I was just wondering if it’s okay to actually have anal sex safely without the use of a condom. I mean, do feces get on the penis on insertion? If not, what about the other bacteria that are present in the anus — won’t they cause an infection?

 

Answer:
You are on the right tract when you mentioned about the bacteria and the feces that might land on your penis. The bacteria might not do any harm to you but may cause harm to your partner if after pulling out your loaded penis from the anus you insert it straight into your partner’s vagina. If your partner has an infection already, not using the condom will endanger you if you have an abrasion on your penis. Feces and anal mucus also contains HIV/AID virus if one is inflicted with the infection. Wearing a condom is the least you can do to avoid infection from your partner or to avoid giving infection to your partner. Be wise. Use condoms whether you have straight sex or otherwise.

Is this normal? Whenever I get my period, I seem to want sex more and I get aroused easily.

Question:
Whenever I get my period, I seem to want sex more and I get aroused easily. This is extremely frustrating for me. Is this normal? What can I do to solve my predicament?

Answer:
This is a common phenomenon for women and you are not alone.This happens because the libido hormone for women testosterone is at a higher peak than estrogen. Some women get off by letting their husband fondle their nipples and breasts. Some even go to the extent of allowing the husband to touch their labia and the clitoris. There are also cases of women having sex during period and to avoid menstrual flow these women stuffed tampon into the upper vagina. This is not advisable because the menstrual blood can flow backwards and cause endometriosis. You can make a choice. For Muslims they can still have non penetrative sex as this is permissible.

Is it normal if we have intercourse his sperm ejaculation is less than before?

Question:
My husband is 46. Lately when we have intercourse his sperm ejaculation is less than before. Should I be concerned about this, or is it normal as men get older? I would appreciate any help on this matter.

Answer:
The volume of the male ejaculate (the semen) is dependant on the frequency of lovemaking, the quality of male climax and testosterone. The more frequent the man has sex the lower the semen volume will be. If he is very aroused his ejaculate will be more and if his testosterone level is low normal, the accessory sexual glands will be less active and will produce a small volume when he ejaculates. Taking Onions will not help. It will make lovemaking repulsive. Tell him to take water soluble extract of Tongkat Ali if he is keen to try herbal preparation. If this persists he may need to see his physician for a medical check to check his testosterone and other signs of Andropause. He may need Testosterone replacement therapy if the assessment is positive for Andropause.

Is it necessary to undergo circumcise process?

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Question:
My foreskin was not tight and manages to pulled over the glans penis during erection.
My question now is my fore skin still able to cover back the whole penis tip end during my masturbation although my penis in erected state. Will this consider foreskin too long? During shrink state, the foreskin will bulk up at the end of penis. For this problem, is it necessary to undergo circumcise process? Thanks for the advice.

 

Answer:
There are many reasons why circumcision is a healthy practice besides being a ritual must-do. On the other end there also ample good reasons to keep that piece of skin that cover the sensitive part of the penis. For one this skin protects the glans penis (penile head)! Smegma that is produced by the inner part of the foreskin keeps the skin of the glans penis soft and moist. The ridges around the lower end of the inner part of the foreskin provide sensation during lovemaking. You have no problem with your foreskin and your glans penis can easily slide in and out of the foreskin, therefore I see no reason why you want circumcision. I have some clients who regretted doing the procedure after experiencing sensitive glans penis and now he wanted to get ‘artificial’ foreskin to cover his glans. However it is your choice.