Question:
I saw in an FAQ that many men were asking about how they could perform in the bedroom longer. Well my question is: Is there a way to get her to perform longer? We’ll both be engaging in sex for about 45 minutes, and a few minutes after making her orgasm twice, she’ll tell me that it is starting to hurt. Please let me know if there is something I can do. Thanks.
Answer:
Not everybody can be a sexual athlete. If both partners can perform, then they are made for each other. If one partner can and the other cannot, the partner who must be able to accept the fact that his/her partner is not equipped with that special thing to make them perform as a sexual athlete. After all sex is not a performance, it is a special intimate act that runs smoothly, comfortably and without coercion and at the end both parties enjoy each other and cherished the moments rather than enduring the discomfort and displeasure. Nobody is keeping the score board or the time here. If you are doing just that then what you are doing is not lovemaking, just plain sex.
Most women when they have climaxed will feel tired and their vaginal secretions will subside. They need another round of TLC before they are wet enough for another round of lovemaking. The third one will always be the most difficult, because they will be too tired and will not respond to TLC! If lovemaking were to be forced it will be like rape! The best thing you can do is to listen to her and maybe let her masturbate you if she is still awake or do again when she is fresh in the morning provided she is in the mood for it.
Category Archives: Intimacy
Too Slippery for Sex
Question:
My partner has been telling me that recently when we’re having sex she gets “too wet” and that it numbs her up and she can’t orgasm. Is that possible? I have no idea what to do, please help!
Answer:
Sex can be a wonderful experience if both parties enjoy every moment of it. If one party feels uncomfortable, the other party needs to make adjustment to ensure the issue is resolved. Sometimes it takes courage to make an appointment with the Sexologist or Therapist to discuss the situation and to get professional remedy. Being too wet can be a turn off to both the woman and her partner. Sometimes it is the women that feel the displeasure since the wetness is due to her partner’s precome secretions that were too abundant to her liking. If that is an issue, the partner needs to take antihistamine before having sex so that his precome is less copious. If on the other hand the copious secretions are coming from her she need to get herself examined if the secretions are due to vaginal irritations caused by some irritants or contaminations. This condition is known as leucorrhea or white discharge. Sometimes mild vaginal irritation can cause the discomfort and the numbing or blistering feeling and leucorrhea. If the secretions are just the result of hyperactive cervical secretions or vaginal mucosal lining, the secretions can also be reduced by taking antihistamines prior to sex. She can soaked her private part with alum to tighten the mucosa or take capsules of Oak Gall extract (available in most pharmacy as an OTC Product) and if all these measures are futile, she needs to see a Gynecologist.
My partner has been telling me that recently when we’re having sex she gets “too wet” and that it numbs her up and she can’t orgasm. Is that possible? I have no idea what to do, please help!
Answer:
Sex can be a wonderful experience if both parties enjoy every moment of it. If one party feels uncomfortable, the other party needs to make adjustment to ensure the issue is resolved. Sometimes it takes courage to make an appointment with the Sexologist or Therapist to discuss the situation and to get professional remedy. Being too wet can be a turn off to both the woman and her partner. Sometimes it is the women that feel the displeasure since the wetness is due to her partner’s precome secretions that were too abundant to her liking. If that is an issue, the partner needs to take antihistamine before having sex so that his precome is less copious. If on the other hand the copious secretions are coming from her she need to get herself examined if the secretions are due to vaginal irritations caused by some irritants or contaminations. This condition is known as leucorrhea or white discharge. Sometimes mild vaginal irritation can cause the discomfort and the numbing or blistering feeling and leucorrhea. If the secretions are just the result of hyperactive cervical secretions or vaginal mucosal lining, the secretions can also be reduced by taking antihistamines prior to sex. She can soaked her private part with alum to tighten the mucosa or take capsules of Oak Gall extract (available in most pharmacy as an OTC Product) and if all these measures are futile, she needs to see a Gynecologist.
What is the secret for extended time in intercourse?
It has been suggested that regular work out gives strength and control of the mind over the body and if this is used to extend or prolong the time in intercourse, the same principal should work! However it is not as easy as it seems. If one is used to ejaculate fast through previous experience at masturbation, then the same thing would occur if not faster when one attempts sexual intercourse. But if one were to exert control and ensure that the sensation received during sexual intercourse does not reach the breaking point, that is the point of no return that would trigger ejaculation, then one would achieved ones desire in extending the time in intercourse. There are many approaches to exert control and maybe one of them might be just the trick for you.
The following techniques will be beneficial in delaying ejaculation:
The most common method men use is pulling out before they reach the orgasm. This method stipulates that men must anticipate the sensation of an impending orgasm. All men can anticipate when they reach orgasm, and at that point, they must stop the stimulation immediately. Obviously the women will need to be cooperative and understand when that point arrives. After a few minutes, the erection should soften a little and lovemaking can resume.
This technique has obvious benefits. First, women will have plenty of time to reach their orgasm. Second, your orgasm will be delayed with a higher intensity than usual. Remember it is all about timing; just make sure to pull out when the time is right.
The “stop and start” method – in this method, the man learns to recognize the stage after which he cannot control ejaculation. The treatment method trains the person to remove the stimulus just before that stage is reached so that the urge to ejaculate is controlled. For example, when during masturbation, the man reaches a point just before ejaculating; he stops the stimulus until he starts losing the erection. Once the stage is past, he can resume the activity. This process is repeated again and again until the individual is able to delay ejaculation till the time he wishes.
The squeeze technique – in this method, the partner gently squeezes the tip or base of the penis just before the point of ejaculation thereby “cancelling” the orgasm. This process can be continued until the couple decides mutually to reach the climax.
Desensitizing creams and gels are available in the market that reduce the sensitivity of the penis and help men reach climax later. Some men also feel that condoms reduce the sensations and in addition to providing safer sex, help them last longer. There are rubber penile constriction ring devices that can be placed at the base of the erect penis to give a firm grip and slight discomfort to the penis without injuring it. The dull unpleasant sensation will keep the mind off pleasant sensation that might trigger ejaculation and furthermore the constriction can keep the erection longer even if ejaculation has occurred. You can buy such devices in your friendly Pharmacy or local Medical Hall.
You can also experiment with sexual positions as some positions offer more control than others and may help to delay ejaculation. Mad About Mirrors
Question: My partner and I like to look in the mirror while having sex. Is there something wrong with our fascination about our bodies? I told this to our friends and they all started laughing. We thought it was not necessarily common, but not abnormal.Answer: Visual stimulation can be a powerful tool to enhance sexual mood and arousal to both partners and it is not surprising that both partners can get a real turn on when they are able to see their own bodies in action in the raw. There is nothing abnormal or unusual about this fascination. The mirror might just be the answer to your interest in self voyeurism which is harmless because it involves you and your partner looking at your selves in the raw form, and not looking at others, which can be against the law.
Missionary is not the only sexual position
Position 1: The Sensational Straddle
Make the most of a cozy embrace with this floor position that’s sure to send sparks through both of you. Sitting face-to-face, wrap your legs around each other (usually easier for the woman to bring her legs up around her partner’s hips) and slowly bring yourselves closer and closer. While you’re moving towards union, this is a great time to lavish each other with intimate touching, caressing – even feeding. Steady eye contact, as well, can add to excitement. It’s exciting to go beyond the ‘basic moves’ of sexual positions. Here are a few ways to find new levels of sensitivity and spontaneity with different positions for intercourse. This position is one of the best for turning a condom into a real sexual stimulant. With both partners having their genitals within easy reach, unrolling the condom over his penis can be an erotic, stimulating experience. Meanwhile, he can use his fingers to explore (and excite!) inside of her. Once together, a gentle rocking will set the rhythm. Or for more acrobatic moves, try holding on to each other’s arms and lean as far back as you’re able. The trick is not to bounce, but to concentrate on the intense pleasure of your connection.Position 2: All things being equal (side-to-side)
For a warm, romantic angle on in-bed intimacy, nothing compares to lying side-to-side facing each other. Not only is this a cosy way to go heavy on the kisses and passionate embraces, it’s probably the most relaxed position, with no pressure from being on top or on bottom. Just take care not to pin down arms. Use them freely instead for stroking every inch of your partner. The woman should slide her top leg over the man’s hips, helping guide and time his entry. The man is also in the perfect position to fondle breasts as well as keep her close and tight. While not one of the more athletic positions, lying together certainly scores points for being ‘up close and personal.’ It delivers the greatest feeling of blissful togetherness and sharing. And no matter how vigorous you are, sexual intercourse actually burns as many calories (about 200) as running for 30 minutes! Not a bad way to stay fit, eh?
Position 3: Standing Room Only
Ever thought of sexual possibilities on the fly? In our go-go-go days, we often end up too tired at night to enjoy a good sexual encounter -so why leave it to after dark? Consider spontaneous sex out of the bedroom, especially once you’ve mastered the art of sex standing up. There are endless ways and places to practice this challenging position! The spontaneity of lifting a skirt and inviting a partner ‘in’ is one of the most arousing ways to initiate fast-and-furious sex. When standing, it’s likely the man will have to bend his knees to meet the height of his partner or be able to lift her gently around the buttocks. An alternative is to try standing at various heights on stairs (or even phone books) to find the perfect fit. Of course, closed in cubicles (like airplane lavatories) can help a woman prop herself against tight walls. Any strong back support makes it easier for her to slide down for oral sex or to sensually apply a flavoured condom with her mouth, rolling it on gently with her fingers. Even a sturdy tree on a bush walk is great support for this position (and beats groping on the ground)!
Position 4: Tables & Chairs
Props can help initiate very interesting positions, especially for spontaneous sex. Using a sturdy table, chair or lounge, for example (where the woman sits on the edge), provides a unique height for entry either standing or kneeling. What’s more, for extra sensation the woman can wrap her legs around her partner at various angles to take equal part in the lift and thrust. This is often easier when hands are steadied on the table or chair, supporting her weight and strength. She’s also in a perfect position to help apply a condom, making it part of sensual foreplay and giving it full attention.
Let your imagination run wild trying various heights that create different stimulation. Add a whole new meaning to ‘clearing the table after dinner’ or discover the power of the spin cycle by straddling the washing machine (timing’s important for this one!). And in the lounge room, why just lie on the lounge when ‘living on the edge’ adds more sexual spice. Go ahead and experiment with your furniture!
Position 5: The Classic
Traditional love-making is usually comfortable in the classic ‘missionary position’ – where a couple is lying down face to face, with the person taking the dominant position on top. ‘Dominant’ here means the person on top tends to control more of the action and the degree of stimulation. Which is not to say the person lying down gets the shaft (so to speak) but in fact can play an enthralling part of receiving and returning pleasure. Advantages of this classic position are that it allows both partners to keep intimate eye-to-eye contact; it makes kissing and nuzzling easy; and it works both ways! While typically a man may be on top, extra arousal can come from the woman taking the upper spot and trying new gyrations and movements to reach ecstatic heights. What’s more, with the woman on top, applying a condom is more smoothly integrated into love-making -with ribbed condoms often being the style of choice for this position.
Make the most of a cozy embrace with this floor position that’s sure to send sparks through both of you. Sitting face-to-face, wrap your legs around each other (usually easier for the woman to bring her legs up around her partner’s hips) and slowly bring yourselves closer and closer. While you’re moving towards union, this is a great time to lavish each other with intimate touching, caressing – even feeding. Steady eye contact, as well, can add to excitement. It’s exciting to go beyond the ‘basic moves’ of sexual positions. Here are a few ways to find new levels of sensitivity and spontaneity with different positions for intercourse. This position is one of the best for turning a condom into a real sexual stimulant. With both partners having their genitals within easy reach, unrolling the condom over his penis can be an erotic, stimulating experience. Meanwhile, he can use his fingers to explore (and excite!) inside of her. Once together, a gentle rocking will set the rhythm. Or for more acrobatic moves, try holding on to each other’s arms and lean as far back as you’re able. The trick is not to bounce, but to concentrate on the intense pleasure of your connection.
For a warm, romantic angle on in-bed intimacy, nothing compares to lying side-to-side facing each other. Not only is this a cosy way to go heavy on the kisses and passionate embraces, it’s probably the most relaxed position, with no pressure from being on top or on bottom. Just take care not to pin down arms. Use them freely instead for stroking every inch of your partner. The woman should slide her top leg over the man’s hips, helping guide and time his entry. The man is also in the perfect position to fondle breasts as well as keep her close and tight. While not one of the more athletic positions, lying together certainly scores points for being ‘up close and personal.’ It delivers the greatest feeling of blissful togetherness and sharing. And no matter how vigorous you are, sexual intercourse actually burns as many calories (about 200) as running for 30 minutes! Not a bad way to stay fit, eh?
Position 3: Standing Room Only
Ever thought of sexual possibilities on the fly? In our go-go-go days, we often end up too tired at night to enjoy a good sexual encounter -so why leave it to after dark? Consider spontaneous sex out of the bedroom, especially once you’ve mastered the art of sex standing up. There are endless ways and places to practice this challenging position! The spontaneity of lifting a skirt and inviting a partner ‘in’ is one of the most arousing ways to initiate fast-and-furious sex. When standing, it’s likely the man will have to bend his knees to meet the height of his partner or be able to lift her gently around the buttocks. An alternative is to try standing at various heights on stairs (or even phone books) to find the perfect fit. Of course, closed in cubicles (like airplane lavatories) can help a woman prop herself against tight walls. Any strong back support makes it easier for her to slide down for oral sex or to sensually apply a flavoured condom with her mouth, rolling it on gently with her fingers. Even a sturdy tree on a bush walk is great support for this position (and beats groping on the ground)!
Position 4: Tables & Chairs
Props can help initiate very interesting positions, especially for spontaneous sex. Using a sturdy table, chair or lounge, for example (where the woman sits on the edge), provides a unique height for entry either standing or kneeling. What’s more, for extra sensation the woman can wrap her legs around her partner at various angles to take equal part in the lift and thrust. This is often easier when hands are steadied on the table or chair, supporting her weight and strength. She’s also in a perfect position to help apply a condom, making it part of sensual foreplay and giving it full attention.
Let your imagination run wild trying various heights that create different stimulation. Add a whole new meaning to ‘clearing the table after dinner’ or discover the power of the spin cycle by straddling the washing machine (timing’s important for this one!). And in the lounge room, why just lie on the lounge when ‘living on the edge’ adds more sexual spice. Go ahead and experiment with your furniture!Position 5: The Classic
Traditional love-making is usually comfortable in the classic ‘missionary position’ – where a couple is lying down face to face, with the person taking the dominant position on top. ‘Dominant’ here means the person on top tends to control more of the action and the degree of stimulation. Which is not to say the person lying down gets the shaft (so to speak) but in fact can play an enthralling part of receiving and returning pleasure. Advantages of this classic position are that it allows both partners to keep intimate eye-to-eye contact; it makes kissing and nuzzling easy; and it works both ways! While typically a man may be on top, extra arousal can come from the woman taking the upper spot and trying new gyrations and movements to reach ecstatic heights. What’s more, with the woman on top, applying a condom is more smoothly integrated into love-making -with ribbed condoms often being the style of choice for this position.