Problems with the correct use of the male condom, such as not wearing a condom throughout sex or putting it on upside down, are common in the U.S. and have become a major concern of public health officials. New research shows that countries around the world are facing similar challenges… click here for more
Question:
I’ve just delivered my first child a few weeks ago. I was told by my friends and colleagues that I can resume sexual activity after 40 days (or after the blood has dried up). However, my elderly relatives advised me that 60-100 days would be the best as the body needs plenty of time to heal. My husband and I were pretty active sexually before this and I don’t think we want to wait that long. How long exactly should the period of abstinence last?
Confined, Petaling Jaya Answer:
So far not many women complain of the prolonged period of abstinence after childbirth, the so called ‘pantang’ period (also known as the puerperal period) except the husband who might have to gear up after the long absence of good sex.6 weeks are more than enough and that’s exactly what most Obstetricians would recommend and that too the women need to go for a postnatal check up before the green light is given. For most women who breastfed the lochia (the discharge from the uterus of blood, mucus and tissue during the puerperal period) dry up within 3 weeks and for those women who cannot breastfeed for some reasons or other the lochia will dry in 5-6 weeks. The post partum check up is still important before the woman can resume sex.
Question:
After having four children, I don’t feel that my vagina is as tight as it used to be and worry if I am still pleasing my husband. I have seen ads for vaginal tightening creams but wonder what they contain and what they actually do. Are they effective and most importantly, are they safe?
Hot Mama, Seremban Answer:
Of course it goes without saying that the vagina after repeated delivery will tend to loose it rugae (folds of mucosa) and probably will tend to be more slippery and could not hold the penis unless the vaginal muscles are tort and able to clench. Unfortunately the tone of the vaginal muscles also is affected by repeated vaginal deliveries. Therefore it is not surprising some women chose Caesarean Delivery rather than vaginal delivery, which of course comes with its own set of complications! Why cut if you can go natural! The answer to vaginal tightness and suppleness is not vaginal repair operation which means another cut and therefore scars but the Kegel’s Pelvic Floor Exercises. The pelvic floor muscles that actually cut off urine flow when you hold your urine is that very same muscles which you need to work on diligently. Make sure you have actually easy yourself before you work on your sex muscles if you do not want to suffer from bladder problems! Vaginal creams and jells that contain plant extracts of Oak gall, Kacip Fatima and Serapat contains tannins that can be a good astringent and tightens the vaginal mucosa by expelling mucosal fluid. If excessive vaginal fluid is lost the vagina can become dry and sex can be uncomfortable for both! Your best bet will be Kegel’s exercise.
If nicotine in cigarettes or caffeine in coffee can tune your brain and get you hooked on them, you should consider yourself lucky if you are not hooked on all the various chemical neurotransmitters like the amino acids Glutamic acid, GABA, Aspartic acid, the peptides namely vasopressin, somatostatin and neutotensin ,monoamines like norepinerine,dopamine and serotonin,acetylcoline ,opoid peptides like beta endorphine,endogenous cannabinoids (brain marijuana) that trickle out when you climaxes during sexual intercourse. If you are hooked then your are a sexual addict!You will, find that you will do anything just to get the sexual elixir fix.
The term sexual addiction is used to describe the behavior of a person who has an unusually intense sex drive or obsession with sex. Sex and the thought of sex tend to dominate the sex addict’s thinking, making it difficult to work or engage in healthy personal relationships. Sex addicts engage in distorted thinking, often rationalizing and justifying their behavior and blaming others for problems. They generally deny they have a problem and make excuses for their actions. Sexual addiction also is associated with risk-taking. A person with a sex addiction engages in various forms of sexual activity, despite the potential for negative and/or dangerous consequences. In addition to damaging the addict’s relationships and interfering with his or her work and social life, sexual addiction also puts the person at risk for emotional and physical injury. For some people, the sex addiction progresses to involve illegal activities, such as exhibitionism (exposing oneself in public), making obscene phone calls, or molestation. However, it should be noted that sex addicts do not necessarily become sex offenders. Behaviors associated with sexual addiction include: Compulsive masturbation (self-stimulation)
Multiple affairs (extra-marital affairs)
Multiple or anonymous sexual partners and/or one-night stands
Consistent use of pornography
Unsafe sex
Phone or computer sex (cybersex)
Prostitution or use of prostitutes
Exhibitionism
Obsessive dating through personal ads
Voyeurism (watching others) and/or stalking
Sexual harassment
Molestation/rape
Sexual groping/frotteur(masturbate while touching others in crowd)
Generally, a person with a sex addiction gains little satisfaction from the sexual activity and forms no emotional bond with his or her sex partners. In addition, the problem of sex addiction often leads to feelings of guilt and shame. A sex addict also feels a lack of control over the behavior, despite negative consequences (financial, health, social and emotional).
Most sex addicts live in denial of their addiction, and treating an addiction is dependent on the person accepting and admitting that he or she has a problem. In many cases, it takes a significant event — such as the loss of a job, the break-up of a marriage, an arrest or health crisis — to force the addict to admit to his or her problem.Treatment of sexual addiction focuses on controlling the addictive behavior and helping the person develop a healthy sexuality. Treatment includes education about healthy sexuality, individual counseling, and marital and/or family therapy. In some cases, medications used to treat obsessive-compulsive disorder may be used to curb the compulsive nature of the sex addiction.The self test score chart for sexual addiction below is a useful tool if one has doubt about ones position with regards to sex addition.
SEXUAL ADDICTION SELF TEST
If you answer yes to some of the 30 questions below, you may have a sexual addiction problem. The more yes answers, the more likely the problem is.
Do you frequently fantasize or think about sex?
Have you made promises to yourself or others to change or stop some of your sexual behavior, and then broken these promises?
Does your sexual desire cause you to associate with people you wouldn’t normally be with or do things you wouldn’t usually do?
Has frequenting sex sites on the internet for sexual stimulation become a habit for you?
Do you frequently engage in sexual chat in sexually oriented chat rooms on the internet?
Is masturbation a frequent activity for you?
Do you have or have you had an extensive collection of pornography or other X-rated material?
Have you gotten rid of a pornography collection and then started collecting it again?
Do you with some regularity rent (or buy or make your own) X-rated videos?
Do you like to “channel cruise” on TV to find sexually stimulating scenes, or do you subscribe to cable in order to view sexually explicit programs?
Or do you stare at scrambled (blocked) sex channels for the occasional fragments of clear images of sexual material?
Are you attracted to phone sex?
Do you frequent topless clubs?
Do you frequent modeling studios for sex?
Do you go to massage businesses where you are able to obtain sexual massages?
Do you frequent adult bookstores for sexual excitement or sexual activity?
Do you frequent, or have you frequented X-rated movie theatres?
Do you frequent other sexually-oriented businesses?
Does your regular sex partner frequently complain about the amount of sex or the type of sex you desire with him or her?
If you really think about it, could your demands of your partner be excessive or outside normal limits?
Or, do you suspect that your regular sex partner submits to your requests that may be excessive but doesn’t tell you?
Have you violated your marriage or other relationship by having sex or affairs with others?
Are you especially excited by sexual behavior that includes a risk of being caught?
Do you get a sexual thrill from exposing your private body parts to unsuspecting onlookers?
Do you have a habit of trying to get forbidden looks at people that give you sexual excitement?
Is anonymous sex with others a frequent indulgence you seek, or one you periodically return to?
Do you take advantage of opportunities to touch people sexually that you find attractive by touching them in a way that makes it seem accidental?
Are you an adult who engages in sexual activity with children?
Are you an adult who forces other adults to have sex with you against their will?
Have you been, or could you be arrested because of some of your sexual behavior
Does some of your sexual activity cause you to have a secret life hidden from significant others?
Does your sexual behavior or fantasy sometimes make you feel hopeless or depressed?
Have you been told by someone that your sexual behavior is excessive, inappropriate, or out of control?
Circumcision rates have gone way down. Researchers found that the procedure is somewhat less common today than it was 10 years ago. The report was written in light of research that proves circumcision greatly reduces the risk of contracting HIV and numerous other STDs during penile-vaginal sex… click here for more
A pheromone is a chemical an animal produces which changes the behavior of another animal of the same species (animals include insects). Some describe pheromones as behavior-altering agents. Many people do not know that pheromones trigger other behaviors in the animal of the same species, apart from sexual behavior… click here for more
Smart women know it’s wise to beware when out at a bar or club – there could be more than just alcohol in that cocktail. Psychoactive substances classified as “date rape” drugs can be dropped into an unsuspecting victim’s drink, rendering her barely conscious and susceptible to sexual assault… click here for more
Date rape drugs can be added to a person’s drink, making them vulnerable to sexual exploitation. A new sensor that could look like a tiny stirrer or straw can be placed in the drink and accurately tell whether it has been spiked…. click here for more
Tens of thousands of men have answered questions about children, money, sex, marriage and many other issues that a popular men’s website is about to publish in a piece called “The Great Men’s Survey.” This report will be fully released in August, but some insighful information for all has been released this week… click here for read more
Original Question :
Hello doctor.
Just wanted to know, will the menstrual cycle date change after the wedding date, my wife used to get her menstrual cycle every 28th day. But after the wedding it’s been more than 34 days now and she is not pregnant. I have got the pregnancy test done. Please let me know what could be the problem. Answer:
You can give yourself full marks for being a caring husband. You mentioned that your wife’s menstrual cycle has been a perfect 28 days and since the wedding day, she missed almost 6 days and yet she is not pregnant. You are right. When a woman misses her period she maybe pregnant. Unfortunately that is not the rule, especially if there are situations that can cause the menstrual cycle to go haywire. In your wife’s case, if her delayed period is not a sign of a pregnancy, then this might be due to a hormonal upheaval, due to stress! Yes, the mind is most powerful and if it is disturbed then it can cause a disturbed menstrual cycle. Sooner or later she will get over her stress and her menstrual cycle will follow the usual rhythm of 28 days. However if it continues I would recommend visiting your local gynae for a checkup.